My top 3 reasons for getting married!

On the cusp of our sixth month of marriage, I began reflecting on the question I’m most often asked “How did you know he was the one?”. Now, as fairytales would have it… you’d think it was this magical tingly feeling that made me want to be with him forever. You’d be wrong. I sure was. 

I’m going to give you three of the reasons I said yes to the man of my prayers. 
1. He takes his directives from God 


I knew that he would make decisions based on the voice of God, and as a believer in Christ… this mattered to me most. While I have my own relationship with God, I was all too familiar with dating someone who didn’t value having one of their own. I wanted a life that embodied biblical principals and I needed a leader for my home who would be able to ensure this was a reality. He fit the bill! 

2. He is the most beautiful chocolate man on the planet! 


Honey, color me shallow but spending the rest of my life with someone I’m physically attracted to was on my “no compromise” list. And this man… whew! 

Before I knew his credentials, his aesthetic was pleasing. I didn’t place it as number one because it truly isn’t THE most important thing to me. But honey, it does matter. Don’t settle, it’s possible for you to marry a godly man who you’re actually attracted to. 

3. He’s responsible & consistent 


Coming into my marriage as a single mother, I was very concerned about consistency. I was able to marry this man, because he’s responsible. He paid his bills on time, he prioritized needs over desires and there’s never a time he says he’ll show up and doesn’t. Those may not be the sexiest traits to you, but they sure make for a great husband. 
Now… don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely in love with my husband and absolutely adored by him in return. But we didn’t make our decision solely on how we felt. There’s much more to it, but those three were my main reasons for the curious amongst us. I guess after writing a book on Singleness. I have to expect that people wanna know how I made the transition. 

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In case you need a reminder! 

We are liberated from fear, we are destined to conquer mountains that have stifled our ancestors. We are powerful beyond our own understanding and lovely beyond our own perception. 

The very thought of us, pushed God into action to create that masterpiece you are for the purpose HE pre-established. 

You are a light that directs those who view you back to your creator. Whether or not you decide to shine is entirely up to you!

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

– Shakeisha M. 

Letter to the single mom… 

Dear beautiful,

After having my daughter, I felt like I didn’t deserve God’s grace because of what I’d done. My virginity was this treasure I kept; it set me apart and made me special
now it was gone. I felt worthless and finished. 
The open shame of my secret sin and the public evidence of it proved to be burdensome. I was ultimately avoiding love because I didn’t deserve it!

I wasn’t different anymore, I wasn’t special. I assumed God was like man, I assumed I had to earn His love and that failing Him meant He didn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t be more wrong! 

This very open shame proved to be a very public blessing. This treasure I gave birth to, is a great part of the reason I sought restoration. 

Fornication is wrong, there’s no excuse for it or pardoning of it by any means. But, if you’re a screw up like me that needs grace, and you desire to be pure and to give God all that’s left of you – do it! You’re not too dirty, you’re not used up, those stretch marks and that C-section scar do not mean a thing to the lover of your soul. 

You don’t have to live your life punishing yourself. Let God restore you, let Him heal those broken places and give your life and the life of the blessing(s) you bore over to Him and watch Him give you beauty for your ashes! 

My journey to wholeness began with 100 Days of Singleness, you can order the book HERE!


Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

Our children are the change… 

I think it’s necessary to listen to the voices untainted by bias, prejudice and pain. Children have such a beautiful and pure understanding of humanity and all the wonders thereof. 


Let’s always let our children be heard and teach them to be responsible for what they release into the atmosphere. 

Remind me who I am Lord!

God has such a sense of humor, well that’s what I think anyway. He has to have one, choosing me of all people to minister to the broken, lost and rejected of this generation. 

I’m 27 years old, and truth be told – I still have to remind myself that I am worth sticking around for, worth loving, worth cherishing even if my father didn’t think so. I know, it’s not what you want to hear from someone who’s ministering to the broken; I’m very sorry that this hasn’t completely disappeared. 

I don’t think it does, I don’t think it should .

Those moments when I think back to the twelve year old me waiting for him to show up for me and he didn’t… They remind me how desperately I needed a savior and it wasn’t my dad. I would have liked my dad to grab me and tell me how beautiful and amazing I was, it would have been great to understand that before now.

However, that’s not my reality. This scar, has become my testimony. This memory of a trampled and rejected heart drives me desperately to the presence of God and His presence makes everything okay. His gentle and sometimes urgent reminders of who I am, make my life worth living and my soul rejoice – my dad is cool but I know he can’t do that for me. It’s like, in some strange way, my father taught me that I don’t need his acceptance or his love to be great… I appreciate that.

My method used to be pretending I didn’t feel rejected at all….

  
 — didn’t work out very well. But God loves and accepts us in a way that overrides everything! His love is all consuming and never leaves! Whew! Do you feel that? Holy Spirit just hugged you to remind you that you’re amazing and deserve to be loved and you are loved  – Jesus thinks you’re to die for! Get it? Okay sorry for that… Here’s a consolation prize: 

This song by Jason Gray reminds me when I forget, so I hope it does the same for you! 

 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QSIVjjY8Ou8

Walk down mommy lane…

I told myself, that even if I had to raise you alone – I would dedicate my life to loving you and I meant it! Your eyes glistened with possibility and purity that I could no longer recognize in myself, you were my second chance. 

 
I failed you baby, every time I lost sight of your wonder and neglected to tend to the little things that felt so urgent to you. You are the funniest, kindest and most beautiful little person I’ve ever laid eyes on. But you already know that!

   

 You coming into the world was the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered and the most beautiful journey I’ve ever embarked on. I was prepared to love you, all by myself with the family and friends who are just thrilled at your very existence. 

We make a great team ☺️

 
Only now, God sent a man our way who loves us both so much better than I’ve ever imagined. You’re such a blessing, now we get to share our love with someone that sees you as clearly as I do…

 

Bad attitude, big problem…

It seems that these days we almost idolize having a bad attitude. We celebrate snarky comments and bad behavior and as a very sarcastic young lady myself – I get it.

However, do you have an off switch? 

  • Are you able to put the satire aside long enough to let people get close to you?
  •  Are you constantly afraid to be vulnerable?
  • Are you petrified of people getting to close to you?

                  
Well you my dear, are not just sarcastic… You’re broken. Satire can be a really cool personality trait with witty comebacks and hidden humor – or it can be a danger sign of insecurity.

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NASB‬‬

If this is what scripture says about our speech, are we really following it? That’s not to say you can’t share in a nice healthy retort with close friends and family but if you find yourself using satire or sarcasm to mask how you really feel – stop. 

Take a moment and ask God right in this moment to reveal the hidden matters of your heart. Ask God to show you any fears of intimacy you may be faced with.  

Your attitude just may be causing you problems that can be avoided, especially when there are those who love you and genuinely want to get to know you better. Your constant sarcasm says “I’ll only let you in this far” and creates a brick wall between you and real intimacy.

I know, it’s a coping mechanism I used it myself for years and I still have to pause at times and allow Holy Spirit to check me … So umm, examine your heart and examine what’s really behind your bad attitude.  

Until next time,

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing!

Frightening fantasy…

My fantasies have taken a frightful turn. They’re not even about me anymore. 

My utmost desire is to witness the healing power of God move. My immense and passionate hope is that the power of God be revealed in its fullness and that I am both a witness and a channel of His glory. 

It’s frightful to think that this miraculous and all powerful God considers a wretch like me in His plans… 

But it’s beautifully frightening, like the thrill of being on a swing set and going just a little higher than you anticipated and feeling the little tingle.

Whatever God has created me to be, that I am for His pleasure. 

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

– ShaKeisha M –