Beautiful Pains

It’s been a little over seven months since I married the love of my life. So far I have vomited profusely, cried sporadically, gained thirty pounds and countless stretchmarks. Yayy. In case you haven’t guessed it – I’m pregnant.

Let me just start by saying how this time has elapsed nothing like I thought it would, I had every intention of being a blend of Martha Stewart, Claire Huxtable and a stripper. Unfortunately, nausea and fatigue made it very difficult do be the non-stop cooking, cleaning, sex vixen of perfection I wanted to be for my husband. Instead, I had these symptoms that under any other circumstance would indicate I am dying but in pregnancy they’re described as normal and I couldn’t see anything other than all that I was now incapable of doing the way I once did. As usual, Holy Spirit slips a lesson into this season of my life and as usual; I am going to share it with you beautiful people.

Here’s how it happened:

I was in bed one day, lamenting over the pelvic pain and swollen feet I had now become accustomed to. I was scrolling aimlessly through old photos and looked at one of my 9 year old daughter, I began to think back on all that I was facing during my first pregnancy with her. Truth be told, it was a terrible time but when she came – none of it even mattered at all.

There was never a day I resented my daughter because of what I experienced during the process of having her. It was painful, but the outcome was breathtaking. Looking at her gorgeous little face brings me nothing but joy. The pain of the process never supersedes the beauty of the promise. In that moment it hit me, that I wasn’t just aching, I was creating! My body itself is being used to produce a new living person the world has never seen and doesn’t know it needs yet. I am pregnant with a promise that when all I see are symptoms, God sees the outcome! Enduring these beautiful pains, allows the earth to roar with new possibilities and endless creativity.

You may not be physically pregnant like I am, but we all possess something unseen that the world doesn’t know it needs yet. What if Einstein stopped because of the pain of failure? What if Martin Luther King Jr. stopped because it was dangerous? What if Oprah stopped because she was rejected? What if Yeshuah stopped because 39 lashes hurt too much?

You will never know how much the world needs whats in you until you endure those beautiful pains and PUSH!!!!

Until next time,

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing!

 

 

If you liked this post, you’ll love my book 100 Days of Singleness !!!

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To my lover…

You awaken the depths of my soul and breathe life into my weathered existence.

Your lips press against mine and your words spill out of me. 

Your eyes lineup with mine and you change my vision of the world, of my past, of myself.

You love me so completely and with so much fervor that all my broken pieces only make sense in your presence. My heart aches for he sight of you and my soul cries out for your tender mercies. 

Even when you slay me, my lips will not relent in giving you praise. The fruit of my lips are an offering pleasing to you and this broken, tattered heart of mine is your most prized possession. 

Should another come between you and I? May it never be so.

May I never forget the caress of your forgiveness and the overshadowing of my shortcomings. 

May another never take the king of my heart from His throne, but may my body be presented to you eternally as a sacrifice and living testament of your grace. 

Give me more, love me harder, draw me closer, breathe me in until only your breath remains in me.

Let my lips speak your words.

Let my heart beat with your love.

Let my mind, think your thoughts. 

May I live everyday, with the expectation of my lover. He will never leave me, never forsake me and daily He shares pages from the 66 book love letter that tells me just how completely and unselfishly He loves me.

My beloved is mine and I am His.