In case you need a reminder! 

We are liberated from fear, we are destined to conquer mountains that have stifled our ancestors. We are powerful beyond our own understanding and lovely beyond our own perception. 

The very thought of us, pushed God into action to create that masterpiece you are for the purpose HE pre-established. 

You are a light that directs those who view you back to your creator. Whether or not you decide to shine is entirely up to you!

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

– Shakeisha M. 

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Wednesday wondering…

This morning, I woke up with my thoughts bouncing all over the place. My mind races from the state of the church, what God has to say to me personally, to Adele and then back.

Our minds are strange this way, we somehow build connections and references without every acknowledging it. Are we so caught up in HOW we do things that we don’t even remember WHY? 

Has tradition taken the place of a true commitment to Christ?

If God were to once again take the form of man and enter into the modern church, would He be welcomed? Is God even invited anymore? Or has it now become about us?
Just wondering…. 

Feel free to share your thoughts! 

You don’t get to be ordinary… 

I got tired of praying and fasting. It felt like it didn’t make sense, like nothing was changing, and I found myself slacking off. Each time, a situation arose and it was necessary for me to intercede on someone’s behalf. Funny right?

I bargained with God because I just wanted to chill, to not have to carry the burden I knew was rightfully mine. The very same burden I said YES to before, the same greater level I cried out for. It’s here now and I got lazy. Holy Spirit said one thing to me “You don’t get to be ordinary“. 

God wants a renewed yes and it requires a new sacrifice. I’ve decided that there’s no going back for me. 

I wish that meant I wouldn’t get distracted, I wish my heart was always where it should be but there are moments God has to pull in the reigns on His delinquent daughter. 

Before Yeshuah, before He revealed purpose in my life – I was empty. I was lost and felt useless. Living for Christ may sometimes feel like a daunting task. 

Then I’m reminded ….

“You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:16‬ ‭NASB

None of this is about me. 

I am purposed beyond feelings and destined beyond my current destination. My tantrums to feel comfortable are hindering my birthright to be extraordinary. Just keep going

It’s time. Be who God has called you to be, the world is waiting and honey “You don’t get to be ordinary”. 

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

The purge…

I wish I didn’t have to write this. I wish I could present scars to the world instead of the open, gushing wounds that I have to offer. I wish that being someone who God has called to help people heal didn’t mean I have to feel the immense pain I encounter.

It’s as if my soul screamed for 18 year old Keisha. It’s as if she were in that room again, that room where she felt dirty and confused. She was in that room alone, alone aside from the one person who decided to soil the one treasure she had left. Driving home I screamed, in a voice I didn’t recognize and from a place I had only previously visited once. Images that I convinced myself were a figment of my imagination flashed as true as 9 years ago when it happened.

But, they didn’t know. Nobody knew. I silenced my sobs so that my pain would not offend, I muffled the sound of my anguish so that it wouldn’t bother anyone and I moved forward. I’ve been healing in layers, and the deeper it goes… the more I feel depleted. There is an indescribable anguish that I felt that day, that day I can barely remember but can never forget. Tonight God told me, they didn’t understand. He didn’t know that he had taken something I fought to keep. This body, this special part of me was all I thought I had left, it was all that made me special. Only now, it wasn’t special. It was worthless. I was worthless. Her, she didn’t know either. She didn’t know that taking him back after would be like puncturing the flesh of a cadaver. The pain wasn’t there, but the damage was.

I wanted to forgive, but what was stopping me? The truth. I didn’t feel they needed to pay, I didn’t truly hate them. It just hurt. All of it just hurt. It hurt more than I know how to process, so I screamed tonight. I screamed for 18 year old Keisha who just wanted to know why. I screamed for the hurt I suppressed so I didn’t bother anybody. I screamed because it was all I could do. I screamed because even though I told God I don’t want to feel it, I don’t want to face it – I had to.

So, no I don’t have scars to show. I have wounds because as God reminded me tonight, I just don’t have the liberty of healing in private. Whoever I wrote this for, whoever this particular truth will set free – I love you.I pray that God will bring you to the point of anguish and desperation where your pain is unbearable. It’s unbearable because He bears it for you. He doesn’t want us to hide our pain, to pretend it doesn’t hurt or to try fix ourselves. He wants us to give it to Him. Tonight I forgive them, I forgive me and I ask you Father, “forgive them for they know not what they do”.

Live a little, love a lot, forgiveness is a blessing.

 

Letter to the single mom… 

Dear beautiful,

After having my daughter, I felt like I didn’t deserve God’s grace because of what I’d done. My virginity was this treasure I kept; it set me apart and made me special
now it was gone. I felt worthless and finished. 
The open shame of my secret sin and the public evidence of it proved to be burdensome. I was ultimately avoiding love because I didn’t deserve it!

I wasn’t different anymore, I wasn’t special. I assumed God was like man, I assumed I had to earn His love and that failing Him meant He didn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t be more wrong! 

This very open shame proved to be a very public blessing. This treasure I gave birth to, is a great part of the reason I sought restoration. 

Fornication is wrong, there’s no excuse for it or pardoning of it by any means. But, if you’re a screw up like me that needs grace, and you desire to be pure and to give God all that’s left of you – do it! You’re not too dirty, you’re not used up, those stretch marks and that C-section scar do not mean a thing to the lover of your soul. 

You don’t have to live your life punishing yourself. Let God restore you, let Him heal those broken places and give your life and the life of the blessing(s) you bore over to Him and watch Him give you beauty for your ashes! 

My journey to wholeness began with 100 Days of Singleness, you can order the book HERE!


Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

Perfect weakness (Keep going)

This morning, I began my drive to church without the energy to minister in dance or the desire. I just felt drained altogether but I decided to honor my commitment to God and do what I had to do.

My prayer on the way to church was a little something like:

“Lord I can’t do this if you don’t show up, I don’t have the energy, I don’t have the strength so I need yours”. 

My prayer was answered. God told me to just worship and I’d be fine. So I did, and I was. After ministry, a visitor came up to me and said “I loved the ministry, keep going”. 

So, to those that may have been feeling drained and weary;  I give the very same advice I received “keep going”. 

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing!

Our children are the change… 

I think it’s necessary to listen to the voices untainted by bias, prejudice and pain. Children have such a beautiful and pure understanding of humanity and all the wonders thereof. 


Let’s always let our children be heard and teach them to be responsible for what they release into the atmosphere. 

Remind me who I am Lord!

God has such a sense of humor, well that’s what I think anyway. He has to have one, choosing me of all people to minister to the broken, lost and rejected of this generation. 

I’m 27 years old, and truth be told – I still have to remind myself that I am worth sticking around for, worth loving, worth cherishing even if my father didn’t think so. I know, it’s not what you want to hear from someone who’s ministering to the broken; I’m very sorry that this hasn’t completely disappeared. 

I don’t think it does, I don’t think it should .

Those moments when I think back to the twelve year old me waiting for him to show up for me and he didn’t… They remind me how desperately I needed a savior and it wasn’t my dad. I would have liked my dad to grab me and tell me how beautiful and amazing I was, it would have been great to understand that before now.

However, that’s not my reality. This scar, has become my testimony. This memory of a trampled and rejected heart drives me desperately to the presence of God and His presence makes everything okay. His gentle and sometimes urgent reminders of who I am, make my life worth living and my soul rejoice – my dad is cool but I know he can’t do that for me. It’s like, in some strange way, my father taught me that I don’t need his acceptance or his love to be great… I appreciate that.

My method used to be pretending I didn’t feel rejected at all….

  
 — didn’t work out very well. But God loves and accepts us in a way that overrides everything! His love is all consuming and never leaves! Whew! Do you feel that? Holy Spirit just hugged you to remind you that you’re amazing and deserve to be loved and you are loved  – Jesus thinks you’re to die for! Get it? Okay sorry for that… Here’s a consolation prize: 

This song by Jason Gray reminds me when I forget, so I hope it does the same for you! 

 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QSIVjjY8Ou8

I was a cheater too…

Most women I’ve encountered can recall various instances of being cheated on and lied to. Okay, I’m no different but what I also like to share aside from my scars are the wounds I’ve inflicted on others. 

Maybe it started with me being cheated on. That doesn’t matter, it didn’t give me the right to become the very thing I protested and argued against. I stopped caring, I literally didn’t care about the men I dated and definitely didn’t give a flying fart about their feelings… 

Ha! Feelings? I was convinced by my experiences that those bastards with penises didn’t have any. Of course, I was wrong. I’m okay with being wrong and I was okay with asking for forgiveness where applicable. 

But… I didn’t share that side right? Our testimonies are much more palatable when we are the victim and not when we are the manipulative, cold, distant and nonchalant Jezebel of the story.   

This may not have been the story in each scenario but it’s as much a show of my salvation as the pain I’ve overcome! So, I cheated too. I lied too. I took “try anything once” a little too far, a few too many times. 

  
So no… I didn’t only recover from pain, but I was rehabilitated from inflicting it on others. We do our testimony no justice when there is no visible contrast between the darkness we came from and the light we were translated into. 

Anywho…

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

Just a reminder… 

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Sometimes we forget that the job of Satan is not just to make our lives miserable. He literally wants to kill us, he wants to stop us from witnessing and sharing Christ and fulfilling purpose. Why? Because that creates more disciples of Christ and he does not want that! 

But there’s good news… 

“Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭2:14‬ ‭KJV‬‬

See that? There’s always good news for us who love God. 

He makes us win, it’s impossible for us to lose against a defeated enemy unless we decide to!

Be blessed!

– ShaKeisha M.