After having my daughter, I felt like I didn’t deserve God’s grace because of what I’d done. My virginity was this treasure I kept; it set me apart and made me special
now it was gone. I felt worthless and finished.
The open shame of my secret sin and the public evidence of it proved to be burdensome. I was ultimately avoiding love because I didn’t deserve it!
I wasn’t different anymore, I wasn’t special. I assumed God was like man, I assumed I had to earn His love and that failing Him meant He didn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t be more wrong!
This very open shame proved to be a very public blessing. This treasure I gave birth to, is a great part of the reason I sought restoration.
Fornication is wrong, there’s no excuse for it or pardoning of it by any means. But, if you’re a screw up like me that needs grace, and you desire to be pure and to give God all that’s left of you – do it! You’re not too dirty, you’re not used up, those stretch marks and that C-section scar do not mean a thing to the lover of your soul.
You don’t have to live your life punishing yourself. Let God restore you, let Him heal those broken places and give your life and the life of the blessing(s) you bore over to Him and watch Him give you beauty for your ashes!