Is she clingy or what?!

In a society where dating has become a game of “who can care the least” nobody wants to be the one who cares the most and getting called clingy is the kiss of death… stupid right?

Let’s just clear up a few things here guys, let’s just tell you behaviour that IS NOT classified as clingy

Consistency: The fact that someone you’re dating expects to hear from you on a consistent basis is no cause for alarm. Isn’t the object of your affection worth a text or two throughout the day when they cross your mind?It is not unheard of to want to be around someone you like, if you find someone looking for consistent communication with you then chances are you are either not interested or selfish.

We tend to get into relationships to soothe our own ego and not to make the other person happy. I believe that I should be seeking to enhance your life and you should be doing the same for me, thus we both find pleasure in pleasing each other. Otherwise what’s the point? Consistency is important and keep in mind what the other person requires to feel valued may differ, learn their love language and if you guys are not compatible then leave. But do not keep someone around simply as an ego boost or to keep you occupied until you find someone better, it’s unfair.

Communication: Being clear, concise and direct when you speak is important. There should never be guessing games or some trivial pursuit to what you really mean. Sometimes we expect our partner to read our minds then get upset when they get it wrong. The more direct you are about what you expect, granted you even know what you want in a relationship; helps both parties to discuss and come to a conclusion about where they see the relationship going.

Clear communication is a time saver and can keep you from lots of undue frustration and pain that would result in things being lost in translation.

Compassion: I know this isn’t normally something we talk about in relationships but it is essential. We have to be aware of our partner’s needs and able to evoke empathy toward them when required. It is selfish to believe that only our reaction to a particular situation is correct or that the other person’s feelings are altogether invalid because we do not understand.

Being sensitive to the other person is to be expected and is a part of showing you care.

 

In a nutshell…

Expecting consistency does not make a person clingy, we as women get called the “C” word anytime we express our concern or feel that we are not getting what we should from our significant other. You’re called a significant other for a reason, you’re important to us. It happens so often that we as women are pursued only to be put in a corner as a prized possession once we have made a commitment. I expect to be treated the same after 6 months or even 6 years as I was in the first 6 weeks or even better. We realize that relationships will have their ups and downs but with a conscious effort to sustain it, it can be a beautiful journey made by two people as the push each other to realize their full potential. 

Signed, 

Lady waiting for a one life stand…

3 thoughts on “Is she clingy or what?!

  1. Very good post and insightful material. I posted a facebook status a couple weeks ago concerning this very topic. There are 24 hours in a day and an individual will make time for what they want to make time for. I support this wonderful blog.

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  2. Such an insightful and passionate post! I love how you talk about consistency and communication because both of those are so valuable in relationships. I also agree that it’s unfortunate that in contemporary society there remains that little bit of “who can care the least,” as if that is something to be proud of when it really isn’t. Your point about how we enter relationships to soothe our own egos instead of caring about the other person involved spoke true to me as well. Please keep writing these fabulous thoughts.

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    1. Thank you so much for your feedback, I really do appreciate it and I’m glad someone shares my point of view in the matter. Keep writing your fabulous thoughts as well!

      Like

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